if you can't draw a crowd, draw dicks on the wall


date someone who uses their turn signal


Oh, no, of course, you’re right. My mistake.


Oh, no, of course, you’re right. My mistake.



how the hell do i talk to people

Stand in front of them and press A

How do I find happiness in being alone?


Stop thinking about happiness and being alone and just be.


I find it really strange that when you’re in a long distance friendship or relationship all you want to do is see that person and being around them is the biggest most wonderful deal but there are people who interact with them
all the time, on the street and in the classroom and in the shops and it always makes me jealous because you want to be with this person so much and for everyone else they’re nothing special but for you they’re everything special

“I realized two things from an early age – I was insane and had some kind of comedic thing going on. My brain was wired to think about things in terms of how funny they were.”



take no shit 2014

This was in 2007